STOP BUYING BRAS FOR ME. My fucking gods *sighs* I'm hard to buy for, you know that, so STOP. Just let me decide when I need new ones and I WILL GET THEM. I don't want anything with padding that deceives and will most likely have a gap between the fabric and my skin. I don't want anything with underwire that feels stiff, and I don't want a bra that feels like it constricts my movement and in the process will most likely form an indent all around my torso. So, for my sanity, just fucking stop buying me bras. Buy as many as you want for Alyson, but I do not appreciate you doing that for me, knowing I'm picky and then getting upset because I don't want what you bought me. Easiest way to avoid that? Oh, I don't know, it's quite complicated isn't it? *rolls eyes*

How many ways can I say amazing to describe Andrew? He's thoughtful, mature, quiet, kind, intelligent, handsome, strong, gentle (Strong and gentle? OMFG, I KNEW THAT COMBINATION EXISTED it'sjustrare;___;), thoughtful, reliable, trustworthy, great sense of humor... the list could go on and on ♥

I wish I could tell him how thankful I am that he even exists, let alone how much I appreciate everything he does, even if it makes me feel like a leech. Sadly, accurate words do not exist. Even today, just doing laundry, I thought to myself, 'I wouldn't mind doing things like this for him...'. Then I started thinking that being a housewife, always making sure he was comfortable, was something that I could do for him and still be happy. It's a scary thought, especially when you consider that I would normally hate to be that stereotypical woman who does nothing while the man brings home the money. Then I freak about all of this because I shouldn't want: to cook for him(I hate cooking), do his laundry, clean up after him... everything that is expected of a good... ah, I don't want to say. It scares the crap out of me, but it doesn't change how much I care about him. He's still the most amazing man I've ever met, though 'amazing' falls pathetically short.

He makes me feel protected and that is very important to me. My dreamer nature loves to imagine many scenarios of us together, but my rooted side is scared to death.

Sorry for being a literal person. I'm not a fucking mind reader, and I will never profress to be one. Sure, I can draw my own conclusions and tell you what you probably want to hear, but I won't. I'll only respond with what is asked of me, nothing more. I'm not going to end up telling you something that really didn't need to be shared or something that you could figure out yourself if you were just willing to think.

In happier news, I get to see Andrew later today at least. I also found something I would LOVE to see him in:

Though I'm sure he'd be okay with the jacket, I'm certain he'd fight me on the pants. that'swhatdrugsarefor.

I can't believe it... the Mitsubishi Lancer ES is mine? My parents didn't like the deal we got on it though so I feel really bad about that but it's signed for and I'll be making payments on it soon. I'll take a picture of it tomorrow (It should be cloudy which will make the Apex Silver look that much more beautiful ♥ ). We might be getting a spoiler for it... maybe. And I need to make an appointment for the Zurich Shield (something they put on to make the interior/exterior more resistent to damage such as nicks, dings, spilled drinks...etc.DONE! Tomorrow at 10:30 am ^_^

I have to thank my boyfriend even though he wasn't with us for the test drives or deal making. If it wasn't for him, I might have picked a car that wasn't very good quality.

[EDIT]
She's so beautiful ♥

That I sleep better after I've been with him? I don't wake up as often in the middle of the night. The morning isn't 6 something a.m.- wake up, groan, go back to bed. 7 something a.m.- wake up, look at the clock, make a face, then go back to bed. Like that until about 9:30 or so. Now I just wake up a few times. Sure, it's not non-stop sleep, but it's still a vast improvement. I wake up feeling good instead of groggy.

I don't know how it's possible. I love how I can be myself too. I don't feel like I have to make sure I don't do this or that. Ahh, before I ramble on and on, I'll end it here.

There's a couple of other things I'd like to say here anyway:

1) I quit SJSubs. 2/3 of my projects were like dealing with utter bullshit. The coordinators were just...*Sighs* I just got promoted to Coordinator at GOE;SS not long ago but I know I do better than what I've seen from this team. Long story for the two projects.

2) Why is everyone freaking out about this whole lawsuit issue? In the highly unlikely outcome that they do break-up, they will always be together as friends, like the brothers they've come to be. I don't know... I guess because I've been anxiously waiting for the day that Junsu will go down his own path, that might be one reason I'm not really freaking out. I love them as a team, don't get me wrong... but we cannot live in a fantasy world where they're together forever. Whenever that day does come when they are no longer performing together, we can still support each and every one of them. It will not mean the end... rather, we should take that moment and look to their new beginnings. Normally I am rather pessimistic, but you'd have to be blind to not recognize that their bonds are so strong that they will carry past that point.

Personally, I want to see them break free from the tyranny of SM Entertainment and sign completely with Avex but that wouldn't be wise since they don't do anything in Korea. So... realistically, I just want them to get the justice they deserve. And no matter what happens, whenever the 5 of them are together, they will always be TVXQ.

PLEASE.

I just learned that my twin...MY TWIN! Listens to SNSD. The moment I heard them laughing in the video, I wanted to make fun of them but I held back. If I was subjected to the entire video, I could seriously see myself becoming sick...Wanting to vomit, sick.

How the hell can she watch their videos and listen to their music when they are such horrible role-models? *Sighs*

Seriously...Why are all the guys that are interested in me weak? I get upset about a couple of things and next thing I know, they're afraid to even speak to me the next day, as though they have their tail between their legs. *Sighs and rolls eyes* If I had fair warning that you couldn't stick to what you said or mentioned, I wouldn't have been upset, but that fact that I learned you couldn't only because I brought up something that I wanted to share because I almost forgot to share it...Well, that's not very comforting. Only finding something out because I pretty much forced it out is not something that pleases me...Especially when it's about the other party not being able to stick to their word. UGH *Punches something* And the fact that you were to the point of crying so easily over the phone? PATHETIC. If you felt that bad, you wouldn't have waited until the last possible second to let me know plans had changed. And if you really were that fucking tired, you would have been in bed instead of calling me to apologize and sounding like you were just saving face.....UUUuuurrrrggghhhhhh!

Another topic that fits this subject:
Wal-mart vs. GameStop
Okay, you bought the game at Wal-mart. You don't have the receipt. The game is still sealed. No, we can't give you your full money. Why? Because GameStop and Wal-mart are TWO DIFFERENT COMPANIES. Don't try to argue with me on that. We're not refunding you money that you gave to ANOTHER company. -.-

*My first 'Dream Series' post for my new home...

It's nearing darkness and my mind is blank; blocking out every negative thought. I sigh and look outside longingly, but I dare not leave my sanctuary alone. Can I trust everyone else? Shaking my head, I turn off everything and lay on the floor. Torn between crying and screaming at the top of my lungs, everything is silent. Not even music plays as I comfort myself.

The door opens and he doesn't say a word. Walking past, I don't even notice that he's layed himself behind me. Wrapping his arms around, he tightens his grip lovingly, without question. As tears flood my vision, I hold his arms in front of me tightly. He doesn't need to utter a single word or listen to any of my problems to let me know that no matter what troubles me, he'll always be by my side.

No one takes the time to stop and think about how everything is a miracle anymore(Did they ever? Perhaps I'm giving humanity in the past too much credit). Everything is taken for granted. Going on living without thinking about anything we're doing. How its amazing we're alive. How its amazing we have vehicles to move us around and each time we get in, it's all routine.

I still am amazed at how much value we place on pieces of paper with numbers on them. Is money really needed? No. If we all simply worked together without asking, "What's in it for me?", we could accomplish so much more. There would be no more division of classes (rich, upper, middle, lower, poverty stricken). The economy as we know it surely wouldn't exist, but is that really such a horrible thing? I'd rather live in a world where everyone thought about others instead of a world where everyone thought only of what's best for them because really, if everyone thought about others first, in the end, that would be what's best because everything would come back around wondrously.

Despite my general disdain for the human race, I will always dream of a better world in which intelligence and kindness ruled instead of greed and stupidity.